Football Updates

Written by Max Bricker

Penthouse Sports

Lovie Smith

Normally this segment is called NFL Updates, but college football needs to be covered  as well. I will start by covering the college bowl games first, so we can speed through to get to the topic that is truly important: NFL playoffs.

-There is a reason that the attendance at bowl games are at record lows: the games are terrible. Agree or disagree, you must realize that the college bowl system is screwed up and is ruining the sport. I have seen a total of TWO really good games- the incredible last-minute comeback win for Arizona over Nevada, and the dramatic ending featuring Cincinnati and Duke. Bowl games simply are not entertaining, and I do not take time out of my schedule to watch them. First off, there are way too many bowls. There are 35 games this year; that is about 20 too many. Why should teams that barely scraped by to a 6-6 record be rewarded by playing in a bowl game? I thought that bowl games were only meant for the best of the best in college football, not for everyone who gives a good effort. I thought it was college football, but it seems more like recreational swimming, where even the kids who suck receive “participation” ribbons so they feel special.

-To be honest, I am not even excited for the BCS games. I apologize, but I refuse to cover BCS games that feature un-heard-of Northern Illinois and un-ranked Wisconsin, who’s coach already left for another team. The system makes no sense to me- #16 Northern Illinois and Wisconsin are playing in games like the Rose Bowl, while #9 Texas A&M (with the Heisman winner) plays in a non-BCS game. The only game that really matters is the BCS Championship game. So much is at stake for the two teams- Notre Dame can prove the season was not a fluke and prove their legitimacy, and Alabama can be the early team of the decade. That game will be hyped and covered here at The Penthouse, but the other games will be put on the back-burner.

-Finally, we can get to the thing that matters: NFL. The MLB playoffs and March Madness may have a better playoff system, but NFL playoff games are as intense as anything I have ever seen. First, here are some things going on around the league:

-As of now, 7 head coaches have been canned. Today is the infamous black monday, and this black monday has as many casualties as ever. Some casualties were expected and have been coming for several months now. Lovie Smith was fired? That has to be the most surprising of the bunch. You have to feel sorry for Lovie, just his first name makes him sound like such a nice guy. Also, he has a QB who is a whiny baby and one of the more unliked players in the league… even by Bears fans.

-I feel sorry for no one more than Adrian Peterson. His team won and is in the playoffs, so he may say that is all that matters. However, he came just 8 yards short of Eric Dickerson’s record! AP is the hardest working back in the league and should be the MVP, but I just wish he would have gotten that record. Now the Vikes face the Packers in back-to-back weeks as they play each other in the NFC Wild Card round, but this time on the Frozen Tundra.

-3 rookie quarterbacks led their teams into the playoffs, and all 3 teams are dangerous. The race for ROY may be closer than Trout v. Cabrera, but Russell Wilson deserves it. I am finally happy that Andrew Luck won a big game, as the Texans loss gave the Broncos home-field advantage and the #1 seed, after they beat the Chiefs 38-3. Peyton now has two weeks to pick apart the defense of the team they will face in the AFC Divisional round, and I hope you all remember my guarantee from a few days back (it will happen!).

-Here are the upcoming match-ups for next weekend:

Saturday: Bengals v. Texans, Vikings v. Packers

Sunday: Colts v. Ravens, Seahawks v. Redskins

-The most intriguing match-up has to be Seattle v. Washington. Not only do both teams have outstanding rookie QBs, these are the two hottest teams in the NFC.

-I will give predictions on all four match-ups later in the week, and I want you all to join me. Can you outpredict me? I have been known to be very close on my score predictions (Duke v. Ohio State), and I want to see who you guys think will win this weekend.

-Article Tomorrow: The new Showtime in Los Angeles, the smoking-hot Clippers.


8 thoughts on “Football Updates

  1. I was going to make predictions but I agreeded pretty universally with Walter and that terrified me so here’s my updated predictions.
    Seahawks 31-Redskins 28. Due to the fact that Russel Wilson has just a much talent as RG3 and an incredible defense. Now don’t get me wrong Washingtons Defense has been playing well but they’re playing way above their talent level.
    Colts 24- Ravens 17. Not likely, but I hate joe flacco the guy just sucks. I mean there’s a reason my phone just tried to auto-correct his name to joe flaccid.
    Vikings 10-Packers 31. Have you seen Christian Ponder throw?
    Bengals 10-Houston 24 Matt schaub is very overrated but the texans just have too many weapons on both sides of the ball. I predict johnathan Joseph shuts down A.J Green, otherwise known as cincinattis offense.

    And in closing LONG LIVE JAY CUTLER! If he gets an offensive minded coach and a semi decent line he’s a top 7 QB.

  2. Before we focus on the playoffs, lets celebrate the fact that the Cowboys once again didn’t make the playoffs (it’s gotten so bad that I almost feel sorry for Tony Romo), the Broncos have HFA thru the playoffs, and the Niners get an extra week for Justin Smith to heal (so rest of front seven won’t be MIA). Here are my predictions:

    Bengals by 3 over the Texans (despite Houston having HFA) – Bengals will have to control Watt and let the Texans’ offense implode.

    Pack by 7 over the Vikings (only because of HFA) – not sure if AP can be a beast in back-to-back games.

    Ravens by 7 over Colts – Colts great rebound season comes to a halt. Ray Rice will run for big yards.

    Redskins by 1.5 over the Seahawks – this game is a toss-up, but with HFA the ‘Skins will prevail. We could see great games from both rookie QBs – Alfred Morris will be the difference.

    Other predictions: Niners will sign another kicker this week and Broncos will name Peyton as their OC after the current guy (not even sure of his name) gets another job.

  3. Hey Max …

    Since you’re still in the 2012 wrap-up mode & you cover a wide variety of matters in the sports realm … I’d like to hear your thoughts re. fellow Sports Journalists / Analysists / Commentators. Like: ‘Best 2012’ — Play-by-Play Broadcaster, Color Commentator, Network Anchor, Sports Panel, College/ Pro Analysist, Etc …

    p.s. And, Could you ration selecting Jim Rome to only one slot ! Shalom ~~~ U.G.

    • I actually did these things! It was a while back, but look under November 2012 in the archives. I did a “top 5 worst commentators in sports” list, starting with Doris Burke at #1. I also did an overrarted&underrarted list, which should be even before the commentator list. Check those out; that should be what your looking for.

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