Fear the Beard!

Written by Max Bricker

Penthouse Sports

sasquatch

It is December, a month where you probably wouldn’t expect an article about baseball. However, The off-season can make or break a team. I am not going to say that the front office moves in December can win the World Series for a team, just look at the Yankees. However, one player can make the difference in how far a team can go in the postseason. There are still a handful of good players on the free-agent market, but there is one that stands above the rest. He may not hit for average, hit for power, run the bases, or win 15 games a year, but this player is crucial to the success of his team. The player is: Brian Wilson. Here are reasons why Brian Wilson will be the steal of all off-season pick ups:

1) His arm. In Wilson’s last full year (2011), he was an All-Star. That marked the third time he chosen to the All-Star team, and the second time in two years. He led the league in saves in 2010 with 48, and was even 7th in the Cy Young voting. He shut down opponents all postseason long, and was a key part in the Giants’ World Series Championship. Yes, he had his second Tommy John surgery earlier this year, but that is not catastrophic. With today’s medical technology, the TJ surgery isn’t the end to a player’s career- just look at Stephen Strasburg. Strasburg proved that it is possible to come back from the TJ surgery and be as dominant as ever. Even Adrian Peterson is proving that a huge injury (ACL tear) can be overcome.

2) His beard. Wilson’s beard my be the most recognizable figure in baseball, if not all sports. The “Fear the Beard” slogan swept the nation, and it is difficult to walk around San Fran without seeing a “Fear the Beard” T-Shirt. The team that picks up Wilson will get a huge boost in apparel sales, because thousands of fans will buy beard paraphernalia.

3) His eccentricity. Brian Wilson is probably one of the weirdest dudes in sports. The guy took freaking Sasquatch as his date to the ESPY’s. His hair, beard, clothing, and sayings just prove how weird this dude is. Did you see him pretending to play the piano on Matt Cain’s head during the 7th inning stretch? It may sound crazy, but he was a huge reason the Giants won their second World Series in two years.  He was always in the dugout pumping the other guys up, and his cheerleading inspired his team all postseason long. Don’t tell me he didn’t help the Giants win, he did.

Here is your next question: “Hey max, if he is so important, than why don’t the Giants keep him?” At this point, there is still a chance they might; but, they do not need to keep him to be successful. They discovered Brian Wilson 2.0 this postseason- Sergio Romo. Romo has it all: the wicked slider, the heat, and even the beard. Keeping Brian Wilson would mean they have two closers, and Romo has proved his legitimacy. There is no need to have two good players in the same position, just look across town at the 49ers- having a QB controversy isn’t very fun, is it? Also, they are already paying Romo; paying Wilson would be a waste.

Wherever Wilson lands will make a big splash- the team that picks him up will greatly improve. It is a surprise that the Blue Jays haven’t signed him, considering they are signing every other player who has ever showed they aren’t completely terrible. The Giants better hope that Wilson goes to the AL, so they don’t have to face his wrath during the regular season

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